Before I began Barb asked, Would you mind if I got a massage today without this sheet on me? Its so hot and sticky and I think I would feel more comfortable without it. I told her I wouldnt mind at all. As I turned down the sheet and placed it on the chair beside the table, I saw that Barb totally naked, hot and sticky or not, this was not the norm for Barbara. That firm round butt hit me solidly. It appeared to me Barb was looking for something a bit different today, a little extra in her massage session. I hadnt said a word as I caught myself staring wide-eyed at the closest to perfect butt I have ever seen. Even though Barb was facing down, she sensed I was scrutinizing her bare butt and immediately spoke up, Pete, you have seen most of me for a quite a while now and didnt think a little extra skin would bother you. I said, Of course not. Pete, my back is a bit sore from vacuuming the other day and I was hoping you could do a little extra massage on my lower back, hips and also. I watched it and then threw it into the garbage. I exposed myself to it and then banished it from sight. I did not believe that I had a permanent interest in sexual hedonism, I told myself that I was only watching it because every man would do the same thing.I should be like everybody else. I thought that I was tempted by the devil, not that I was the devil.Porn provides carnal knowledge, and often not very well. That was my excuse for not watching it.Like professional wrestling; the k**s all love it, and everybody else says that it's fake.Whenever I watched porn I thought about other sexual events that I made up in my head, not what I was watching.I hated porn. I wanted something more stronger than the porn that was available to me.I watch it for a little while and then I threw it in the trash. I was struggling with the devil, but I was also the devil.I want the world of sexual hedonism, but I want to love good people, and I want the light of God. I don't want to lose my soul, and I.
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